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BAMM.tv Rundown: Top Five Rock Star Feuds

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Many a fight breaks out in the BAMM.tv office when it comes to the ‘who gets to ride the segway on their lunch break’ debate. Not the most blistering of confrontations, sure, but such arguments can’t help but make us think about some of the more epic feuds in the scrap-happy world of rock and roll. Here’s a look at five of the ‘best’ …

5. Jarvis Cocker vs Michael Jackson

Possibly the last time anything even remotely exciting happened at annual blandfest The Brit Awards – in 1996, Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker grew tired of Michael Jackson’s messianic posturing during a performance of ‘Earth Song’, and proceeded to mimic the time-honored tradition of ‘farting in his general direction.’ Arrest and subsequent media frenzy ensued.

4. Jay Z vs Noel Gallagher

Noel Gallagher is not impressed with the fact that hip-hop megastar Jay-Z has been booked for (traditionally guitar-led) UK festival Glastonbury. Gallagher states this on several high-profile occasions. Jay-Z responds by emerging onstage to a sneering version of Gallagher’s ballad ‘Wonderwall’, thereby stepping the rivalry up a notch.

3. Courtney Love vs Dave Grohl

Where to start? Walking issue-magnet Courtney Love has long voiced her disdain for the ex-bandmate of her late husband Kurt Cobain, claiming – among other things – that Grohl has no legal stake in any of Nirvana’s creative output. Grohl maintained his image as the ‘nicest guy in rock’ by staying silent in public, commenting only via songs like ‘Let It Die’ (above).

2. Dandy Warhols vs Anton Newcombe

A rivalry so lengthy and intense it fuelled ‘Dig’, an entire documentary feature. While the Dandy Warhols are not known for being shrinking violets, their number one competitor Anton Newcombe (whose group The Brian Jonestown Massacre were tipped as being as big as the Dandies) is a full-on whirlwind of animosity and drama-queen tantrum.

1. Megadeth vs Metallica

After being kicked out of Metallica, Dave Mustaine went on to form Megadeth – one of the biggest, most successful, iconic metal bands in the world. It’s very telling that – despite this achievement – his resentment towards his former bandmates simmered nicely for the best part of two decades …

OTHER BAMM.TV STORIES YOU MIGHT LIKE:

BAMM.tv Rundown: Five Criminally Underrated Albums

BAMM.tv Rundown: The 10 Craziest Album Covers

BAMM.tv Rundown: 10 More Crazy Album Covers

BAMM.tv Rundown: 5 Greatest Fictional Bands

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Some bands are just too good to actually exist – should their awesomeness manifest itself in the real world, chances are the very fabric of reality could collapse in on itself. Maybe. Probably. Look, we haven’t researched the scientific logistics of the whole thing. We’re not Stephen Hawking, you know.

Take our hand (come on, its still not summer yet, you could use the body warmth) and join us for a rundown of the Top 5 Greatest Fictional Bands in history …

(Note: we decided not to include Spinal Tap in this list, because that would possibly be the most obvious thing ever, and we’re nothing if not contrary).

5. Wyld Stallyns – ‘Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure’

Okay, so they can’t actually play (despite a plot device in which their future songwriting skills help unite the planet in peace) but we’ll be damned if an evening at a Bill and Ted gig wouldn’t be the best party this side of 1988.

4. The Soggy Bottom Boys – ‘O Brother Where Art Thou?’

George Clooney gets in touch with his bluesgrass side – with remarkable singalong results – in The Coen Brothers’ 2000 comedy masterwork.

3. Three Times One Minus One – ‘Mr Show’

Hilariously bad spoof act from comic geniuses David Cross and Bob Odenkirk (whose TV comeback in recent years has seen him killing it in ‘Breaking Bad’). If these guys actually existed, there’s no doubt that even whistling one of their tunes would get you laid in a heartbeat.

2. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem – ‘The Muppet Show’

Our furry friends rock out to the utmost.

1. The Commitments – ‘The Commitments’

Often regarded as the best Irish film of all time, it’s very telling that the producers placed musical ability at the top of their casting wish-list. They wished, and they most certainly got it.

OTHER BAMM.TV STORIES YOU MIGHT LIKE:

BAMM.tv Rundown: Five Criminally Underrated Albums

BAMM.tv Rundown: The 10 Craziest Album Covers

BAMM.tv Rundown: 10 More Crazy Album Covers

BAMM.tv Rundown: Songs You Never Knew You Knew

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It happens to even the most musically literate of us: you know a song from somewhere (in the case of a tune that’s doing the rounds on the advertising circuit, everywhere) but you don’t know what it’s called. Scientists have a name for this – they call it ‘what the hell is that song? Seriously, it’s driving me mad. Just someone, please, throw me a f**king bone here.’

Anyway, because we’re big acolytes of the whole ‘public service’ thing, we’ve decided to enlighten you this Friday with a quick rundown of those songs you know but don’t really know. If you know what we mean. Y’know.

‘Clubbed To Death’ – Rob Dougan

You say: ‘oh, you know the one. It’s in The Matrix. And it’s always featured on inspirational stuff, like sporting montages or energy drink commercials. And it goes ‘bff-ttt-bff-ttt-bff-ttt-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa’.’

You mean: Clubbed To Death by Rob Dougan. It dates from 1995, which means that if it was a person, it would soon be thinking about going to college. Not to make you feel old or anything.

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BAMM.tv Rundown: 5 Best Animated Music Videos

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No matter how visually exciting a band or artist may be, sometimes sticking to the ‘real world’ can put something of a limit on creative imagination. Sculpting a whole new universe from scratch has always been one of the imperatives for any good animator: be they the 1920s pioneers who knocked together those first flickering Disney cartoons, or the computer whiz-kids who sculpt the next Pixar masterpiece.

What happens when this animated wonderland is combined with the world of music? Great, great things – as our rundown of the five best animated music videos will attest …

5. The White Stripes – ‘Fell In Love With A Girl’

Superstar director Michel Gondry combines two of the greatest inventions of the latter half of the 20th century – lego and rock ‘n’ roll – into this whirlwind high-octane blast.

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BAMM.tv Rundown: Five Weirdest Rock Star Photos

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The photo-op has long been an established part of musical success. Want your band to get noticed? Then get ready to do whatever the nice people in the art department say. The thing is: sometimes what seems like a good idea can just turn out to a little bit … weird. Let’s take a look at some of the craziest examples of this breed.

5. Paul McCartney And Michael Jackson

PAUL: Hey, Michael, how does this dishwashing thing work again?
MICHAEL: I don’t know. I’m so rich I usually have an army of butlers do it for me.
PAUL: Me too.
BOTH: LOL

4. Iggy Pop

Iggy takes to the red carpet and does his best impression of a bag of Cheetos exposed to high G-force.

3. David Bowie

An accidental shot rather than a staged opportunity, this pic of David Bowie being assaulted via a lollipop-eye interface still remains of the strangest in rock history.

2. Louis Armstrong

Louis takes on the Egyptian Gods and presumably wins.

1. Freddie Mercury

Actually, we’re not sure if this picture classifies as ‘crazy’, or ‘the greatest moment since the invention of photography’.

OTHER BAMM.TV STORIES YOU MIGHT LIKE:

BAMM.tv Rundown: Five Criminally Underrated Albums

BAMM.tv Rundown: The 10 Craziest Album Covers

BAMM.tv Rundown: 10 More Crazy Album Covers

BAMM.tv Rundown: The Greatest Band Logos

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See that picture above? The Rolling Stones have updated their famous ‘lips’ logo to celebrate their 50th anniversary, and – if anything – this revamp only goes to solidify its reputation as one of the all-time great band logos: instantly recognisable, effortlessly cool and simple enough to reproduce quickly on a billion T-shirts and a quadzillion bedroom posters.

So – which other band logos can proudly stand alongside those luscious red lips? Let’s construct a virtual hall of fame and take a look at some of the exhibits, shall we?

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BAMM.tv Rundown: Five Great ‘Uncool’ Acts

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‘Coolness’ can be such a fickle concept sometimes. One minute you’re the toast of Pitchfork, the next you’re being slated on a million message boards for ‘selling out’ or mysteriously losing whatever touch you had in the first place.

It’s never been quite clear who decides on what’s ‘cool’ or not (our god-like cultural overlords, perhaps, plotting the rise and fall of pop-culture from a volcano fortress somewhere in the mid-Pacific), but the rules of the game seem genuinely unfair a lot of the time. Here’s a look, then, at some of the acts whose talents have often been overlooked simply because they’re so ‘uncool’ …

5. Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers

Boring, trad-heavy, MOR dadrock, right? WRONG. Petty’s ‘Greatest Hits’ compilation is pretty much a masterclass in songwriting, and all the hip sneering in the world ain’t gonna change that.

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BAMM.tv Rundown: Worst Songs By Great Artists

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Remember when you were a kid, and you’d done something wrong, and your parents would say: ‘I’m not angry … I’m just disappointed’? How about the music that makes you feel that way? Everyone has a moment in the catalogue of their favorite band or artist which they find indefensible – maybe a stupid quote in an interview, maybe an embarrassing TV appearance, maybe a sell-out starring role in a product commercial (we’re looking at you, Iggy Pop. And you, John Lydon).

Or – more likely – just a plain old bad song.

We’re looking at the top five worst songs by great artists … those records which sully the reputation of cultural legends and which even the hardcore fanbase find hard to stomach. Ready? Let’s go.

5. The Smiths – ‘Golden Lights’

Morrissey may have aged into a flabby, reactionary embarrassment, but it’s widely held that his four-year-stint with The Smiths was a non-stop procession of pop perfection. Right? Right? Well … kind of. There’s always one who has to spoilt it for everyone else – and that came in the form of ‘Ask’ B-Side ‘Golden Lights’, a cover of a 1965 song by Twinkle. The rest of the band hated it. It’s easy to see why:

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